hey hey..ummz anywayz uhh im really upset and have been upset since monday..my fam statin all bull shit wid me and my man..they dont noe we goin out or anythin cuz im not suppose 2 b wid any1 cuz of religon..sayin i waz makin eye contact wid him..uhh..otayz..then my mom had  sumthin wrong wid health wise and she didnt even tell me and my aunt did..and it really upset me wid wat happened 2 her..and then yesterday my man made me soo angry soo angry by sayin tha wrong thin..i waz online wid him and he asked if i had tension i said u neva use that word and he started laughin sayin im usin now..and i said yaa..and he asked y cuz ur mom..and said yaa and more and u noe my mom didnt even tell me ur sis did..soo he said 2 me o0oo0 thaz 2 bad..it waz sumthin along those linez..he waz actin like he dont care and waz my frend that waz my frend fer only a week like he didnt even noe me..uhh..made me soo angry cuz i waz lookin fer comfort frm tha person i love 2 much and all he sayz iz that i cant believe he sayz that..then he keepz imin me askin wat i said wrong wat i say wrong..he neva pay attention u noe he alwayz ferget wat we talk bout..and then he sayin im sry and he dont even noe wat he did god how can u b sry like that ferreal..i said 2 him dont talk2 me u dont noe how 2 comfort anyone soo dont talk 2 me..u noe same thin happen 2 hiz sis but did i bring it up 2 him no bcuz i new it would make him sad sad 2 tha point he would cry..and i dont want him hurtin like that agin..and when i look fer comfort he dont give it 2 me i mean wouldnt u think he would understand how it feelz..hez soo backwradz he keepz imin me online when im mad but stayz silent like cricket silent on tha fone..u noe..and hez frend iz soo nice 2 me when i told him i waz angry at my baby hez like wat he do now hehe..hez like makin me feel all betta..now he noez how 2 comfort..he waz sayin everythin will b fine and dont worry and dont cry..aww he waz soo nice 2 me and he didnt even noe tha whole story..and then he waz tellin me tha corniest jokez 2 make me laugh but they worked and i needed that..thaz all i wanted and iz that hard..why cant every guy b like salman??o0o0o mann even if my man waz playin thaz nothin 2 play about u noe if im upset then he should play in a diff topic thaz not makin me upset..2 make me happy..but he dont noe wat 2 do or say sumtimez..uhh i wish he didnt do that..skool waz otay i waz mainly upset soo durin 1st 2nd and 3rd period i felt like cryin..then i got betta but i came home and now my dad and my mom told me finally wat had happened..i think bout it and i cry..and then i called walter my x..o0o mann it felt good 2 talk 2 him..i havent talk 2 him in soo long..i mizzed him a lil..and im happy he wantz 2 talk 2 me..i waz hesitatin 2 call but it waz tha rahh thin 2 call..im glad i talked 2 him 2day..i should talk 2 him more often but he seemz really busy soo..anywayz nothin really happened..im cool wid bilal again..and raza grew frm uz..and no longa talkin 2 uz..sarah not talkin 2 sonia still..ummz wellz gotta go bye byez..love ya..mwah mwahz..xoxo..huggz and kizzez..

*THA PART OF ME I LOST*

lost soo much

juz in one sec

started wid one touch

makin me a wreck

longin fer guidance

someone 2 say itz gonna b otay

seekin fer confidance

juz only fer one day

wishin sumone would hold me

tellin me not 2 cry

givin me comfort juz 2 see

wipin tha tearz frm my eyez

juz soo hard 2 let go

losin sumthin so dear 2 me

feelin soo down and low

lost sumthin lost a part of me

neva really had u

juz wantin u so

wishin i could hold u

ur body and soul

left me wid a tear

and ache in my heart

wishin 2 listen 2 ur heartbeat wid my ear

but u had lost thiz most valuable part

i lost my heart

when u left uz

juz leavin uz in tha dark

ur tha part of me ur tha part that turned 2 duzt

*sOpHiA*

o00o dame i havent written in thiz thin in madd long..wow..been soo long..well me and my baby still together and strong..10  monthz 1 week and 1 day..whooo longest relationship i had..hehe..but lovin it hehe..im soo proud o0o0 mann i love him soo much i now we gonna b wid each otha fereva..soo anywayz skool been good doin madd good i gotta get betta though..imma try..ummz 5 more weekz i think till april break!!mMm my dad been actin all stupid lately..complianin u noe..i went bowlin yesterday wid sonia sufi bilal and sarah..bilalz b-day waz yesterday got yelled at by sarah cuz she waz sayin she felt guilty and i made her feel like that..which iz bull shit..she waz gonna feel like that 2day no matta wat..v-day waz tha hottest had soo much fun..i got tha prettest earringz gold hoop wid tha nameplate in tha middle sayin my name i got one of those big cardz and a rose and i got a teddy bear wid chocolatez..all frm my mann..soo coote i loved it..i havent seen him since then..i mizz him..i wish i could c him..itz soo hard 2..cuz he getz scured of comin near hea..and i have no excusez 2 give 2 my mom if i go c him..thaz y im in a conflicy bout whether or not i should go there fer our one year..and if i do wat am i gonna tell my mom..wat should i say..uhh and i hate lyin 2 my mom bout him..i wish i could tell her and there would b no problemz but thaz not reality..soo complicated and my frendz dont want me goin 2 tha city by myself even though ive went b4 in december hiz b-day they dont want me goin cuz they think sumthin bad gonna happen 2 me..they think im crazy..o0o0 mann i need an excuse 2 go next month 2 tha city 2 c him..i had a fight wid him like 2 weekz ago i think..bout y he lovez me..uhh and when he finally told me i didnt even wanna hea it..u noe when u have a fite and make up u get thiz feelin i didnt get that feelin..anywayz he would say i love u cuz u pretty and i said soo if i waz ugly would u love me..uhh and it took him 3 dayz juz 2 tell me..and when i heard it i didnt feel anythin..and he told me he said he loved me cuz i waz pretty because he wanted 2 noe wat i would do..which i think iz also bull shit..who would risk doin that..i got him soo madd that he didnt call me cuz i hanged up on him and i said 2 him dont call me baby..o0o0 wellz hehe..soo i gotta stop talkin bout him..hehe..soo anywayz gotta go bye byez..xoxox..mwah mwahz..4 besos 3 abrazos 2 dedos un amor..o0o0 ,amm i totally fergot 2 put in about salman..mann he soo nice and sweet..hez tha nicest guy i will ever meet..hez not like otha guyz u noe..o0o0o mann when he getz hez grl hell treat her like gold uhh i can only imagine..hehe..and he soo coote 2 look grlz thiz dont mean u gotta stalk him hehe..i noe it mite b hard but control urselvez come on ur givin uz a bad name..heheh..soo anywayz hez soo kool 2 talk 2..i dont come online 2 wait fer my man no more i come on 2 talk 2 him..i waz soo bored b4..hehe..wow i cant blieve we talk almost everday online and hes soo close 2 me he openz up 2 me and trusts me alot..i love it when ppl r like that wid me it makez me feel wanted u noe..and when they wanna hear wat u think ask wat they should do itz soo nice..i love that i feel soo specail 2 b part of their world and help them..im a sucka fer helpin sumone..i love seein ppl happy..anywayz gotta go bye byez..mwah mwahz

*promize me*

promize me youll neva change

promize me youll act tha same

promize me youll neva ferget

promize me tha 1st day we met

promize me mizzez

promize me more kizzez

promize me no more phugz

promize me much more huggz

promize me ill c u agian

promize me our heartz will mend

promize me we will alwayz b

promize me it will alwayz b u and me

promize me im alwayz above

promize me all ur love

promize me the rest of our livez

promize me that im ur wife

for thiz i promize we will neva part

i promize u wid all my heart

i promize u no more liez and goodbyez

i promize 2 love u till tha day i die

*by sophia*